Amber T

John Wayne

I have been having such a hard time lately... it feels like everything I do is a mistake. I reach out to my friends and they end up attacking me. Sometimes I think "It's ok, because I will always have the support of all the Monsters of the world." But I really don't. Not here, not from family... even my husband is finally getting sick of watching me cry all the time. I feel like, if I ever did get to meet you, Gaga, that you would probably hate me. You would think I am a horrible person just like everyone else does. Sometimes I just wish I could be "normal"... I wish I blended into the wallpaper... but when I have tried to be fake and match the drapes I always eventually end up tearing them down. Sorry, I always end up talking in metaphors that no one understands, just another one of my flaws. Everyone always says I was born out of time... like Nikola Tesla or Oscar Wilde... those guys died alone. If it is true that my child will be something amazing that makes me very proud... it just doesn't stop the pain now. The loneliness, the isolation...segregation, emotional abuse, misunderstandings and judgements all still hurt. I wish it didn't... I wish I was stronger... but there's another thing that is wrong with me to add to the list. It feels stupid to write things like this sometimes but it feels like there should be a record of my feelings somewhere. Just in...Read more...

meow

No offense, but why is this featured? I bare my soul in my body revolution post and get barely anyone notice it... which is not why I did it... I did mine to try to help other people feel better about themselves. It took a lot for me to post everything I said there and the photos!! I guess I'm not cool enough? or what? is it who you know? or just that you all think I need to lose a few pounds before posting pictures of myself? I mean, wasn't the whole idea of body revolution NOT losing weight, but rather accepting yourself how you already are?!? I AM SO CONFUSED BY THIS ENTIRE SITUATION!! PLEASE, SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME?!

And people say they "can't" go to an Artrave because they might have to travel over 2 hours... you show them!! Gotta make shit happen in this life!