@LadyGaga How do you deal with pain so bad it hurts your heart you feel the blood. Why can’t I be happy. The last time I was happy was at your concert and that when I was home. I’m not home now . Idk where I am or what to call it. I want it to be over the pain. I don’t want to be scared anymore. I don’t want to cry myself to sleep anymore. To make me sleep I have to pray and the only thing I pray is to you to feel better and to my birth mom and that when I sleep. Then I wake up sad. I love you mom, your not my mother monster your more than to me your mom. I grew up listing to your adobe and how to become a woman. You must feel awkward because you have no idea who I am and I’m saying your like a mom to me. I love you Stefani and I called you that because your not just a women who sings and changes clothes. Your a human being who hurts as well and I’m crying out for you help so please help. My mother is dying of lupus and my grandparents are dying of cancer and heart disease. I want to be loved not hit or emotional abused. IM A GIRL WHO WANTS TO BE A SINGER! That’s all I want to be on stage I want the experience with fans and the stress of the fame. I want it so badly. Stef just please give me advice I need it. I love you.