I can muster some humility and quit my drugs. i can cope with reality. the reason i chose not to was that i was terrified that if i did i choose to cope i would discover that raw passion inside, that i would be a tremendous lover, who forgives and loves everyone who's hurt me. and i was terrified of my own love and passion. i hope you will do a better job than I. please keep me posted Alison. i just saw your last name is GRACE —Allowing the ALL-ONE-ness to Be what IT IS regardless of whether it suits you. Living Perpetual Forgiveness.