Hello, My name is Jason, I am a 19 year old regular average male, I grew up in a little town, Stroud, which is in Gloucestershire, UK, I spent all of my young life here, I am a "Stroudy" at heart, at the age of 10/11 I moved to Gloucester, a 15 minute car journey from Stroud, just a bigger city/town, not very interesting, but I love the people of Gloucestershire. My story first starts when I was around 11 years old, back in 2006 when I first started senior school, for personal reasons I wont disclose which school it was. Anyway it all was very good to begin with, I got on with everyone, I had some really close friends, and everything was good, until some people started to notice I was different from the regular guys, I preferred to be around girls. 98% of my friends are female, then and now, and I wouldn't change it at all. It first started when I had the odd comments thrown at me, "you're weird", "you're strange", "You're gay" that's all it was, I could cope perfectly well, but then it got more and more on top of me, and the more people listened to these few people, the more other people got involved, I was once sat in a lesson after the summer holidays, and a maths teacher asked everyone in general what they did over the holidays (a nice general conversation) he individually went around the class and people said what they did, he got to me, and before I could even open my mouth, this kid shouted across the class, "Jason probably spent all his time at gay bars" the whole class laughed, even my friends, but what hurt me the most is that the teacher, laughed too, and didn't even support me. That night I went home crying, and did so for every day up until I left a year and a half to two years later. Within months I went from a loud, bubbly fun character to a suppressed, quiet, depressed helpless child, my mum could see this was killing me, I had no hope, I went from having many friends, to having a handful, which I treasured. My mum made a complaint about the bullies, guess what? the teachers put me on a report card, to monitor me. A report card is what is used for the naughty kids, which had to be monitored all the time, because they would fight, cause a mayhem in lessons, and were always being excluded, so why was I put onto this, to this day I would never know why, but that was then without warning my mum changed my schools, as I wasn't the young boy I was a year or so ago. This experience in my younger life has been extremely hard for me, I still have some issues with my confidence, I don't like to be around too many groups of men when im out, e.g clubbing, or with my friends in the evening, I feel I'm being watched, but either way my life did get a lot more better when I moved schools. When I eventually left my second senior school, to move on to go to college, I found a massive array of people starting to like/love me, mostly female, my popularity went from zero to 100 in a matter of months, I actually felt more human. it was great. The reason for this burst in confidence and self esteem was down to a wonderful, inspirational woman, named Lady Gaga, yes shes like marmite, you either love her, or hate her, but in my case I love her, you may even stop reading now because you hate her, but hear me out. I remember back in 2008 I was watching Sunday/Friday night project, with Alan carr, and random celebrities would be presenting the show, and making funny sketches etc. On this one evening the music host was Lady Gaga, I have never ever heard of this lady before in my life, but I was totally fixated by her, with her digital sunglasses. Wow I was amazed, she sang her world famous song, Just Dance, months passed and I could not get Lady Gaga out of my head, who is she?, what is her message, so I got curious one day and researched her on google, and youtube, I ended up researching her for hours and hours, watching interviews she done, music videos, listening to her music. I was totally transfixed by her and I don't know why. She then became my biggest inspiration ever, no-one apart from a little monster would understand, she became this massive foundation on my life, my thoughts my day to day routine would involve Gaga whether it was listening to her music, or just thinking about her, or just finding a hour to watch some more videos of her, you can say I was obsessed, Well yes I was and yes I still am, I call it my healthy obsession, as of course I would never hurt her. A few years passed and she released a album called born this way. This is when my understanding and my love grew for her, she was openly saying to the cruel world you can be who ever you want to be, be it, gay, straight, lesbian, transgendered, if you have a disability embrace it, love yourself, I knew at this point I was quite obviously gay, not to look at or to listen to but my interests were obviously gay. I had this problem of now I had to tell people, something I got bullied for, something I thought the world thought was totally wrong, I had to look at it square in the face and tell people, Im gay, like it or lump it basically. Later that year I went to the Born this way Ball on the 8th September 2012 Twickenham Stadium, UK, Got in the monster pit, (kaboom :D was so chuffed) got about 3ft from Gaga herself, she was bloody amazing! got home on that very night and knew now was the time to come out as gay, but I made it a 2013 new years resolution, 2013 came, mid January, me and my mum driving home from my grandmas house, " mum I need to tell you something, please don't betray me" tears streamed down my face, I could hardly form a sentence, I then came out with it, "Im gay" the whole way home we sat in silence, my whole life stopped for a few days as my family got accustomed, Then the dreaded feeling came back, and my parents spoke to me, they accepted me and were not going to betray me, and they loved me no matter what. I was so happy, and I would always be eternally grateful to Lady Gaga herself for being that shining light at the end of a few year tunnel, Im out the other side now, and I will always be happy with my decisions and thankful for what I actually went though, and lets not forget the other little monsters, thank you too. 15th October 2014 artRave concert for Gagas album ARTPOP Birmingham stadium, I prepared 5 letters about my life and my gratefulness to Lady Gaga herself, I planned to throw that letter on stage, and I had 5 chances, 1st chance came, I missed the stage, but another Little Monster picked the letter up, and threw it on stage, feet from Lady Gaga, she picks it up, goes to the piano, I am on tenterhooks, I am physically swearing in my head, she opens the letter, and reads aloud to the whole areana. The letter is a page long, so takes her at least 5 minutes, she then says my name "Jason where are you" comes down the see-through runway squats just above me, points at me, and says "do you wanna come on stage" I was with my ex boyfriend at the time, she invites us both on stage, I turn around, the arena is chanting my name. WOW, security are there, pushing my through the envious crowd, I stand at the bottom of the steps as security gives me some rules, on what not to do to Gaga, as I walk up the stairs, she stops the piano, looks at me, and gives me a huge smile, my arms automatically comes out, I wanted that hug from Gaga, she too opens her arms, and I give her the biggest hug, I have ever given anyone, she sits me and my ex either side of her at the piano, and gives a short inspirational speech, and begins to play an acoustic/ballad version of Born this way to me, adding my name into the lyrics, giving me the odd kiss, I sat there, looking rather bored but I can tell you I was absolutely star-struck, I was going crazy inside, but also had the rules in my head, If I go crazy now, I will be pulled off that stage immediately, I was taking no chances, she is going for it on the piano I can feel her leg against mine jigging to her own song, using the piano pedals, I could see her broken nails, from where she crazily played the guitar a few moments before, I was sat next to Lady Gaga. Sorry if you have got this far, I am grateful. We ended by having a group hug, and she moved us towards a trap-door leading us to her dressing room under the stage, which I was in there for all of 3 seconds, they were very hot on security and she had a tight schedule, I do wish I turned around and thanked her yet again, but it was a dream come true, I dreamt many nights getting a invite on stage, but soon waking up just as I was getting on stage, I was fully living the dream right now. I still have the trousers, unwashed at home, with her fake-tan, foundation down the leg which rubbed off from her legs onto me, the experience was amazing, I still constantly think of when I met her, I look at the canvas on my wall of me and her daily, I watch the video all the time, I am so so sooo grateful to her and to the Little Monsters, for days I was totally speechless and it hit me probably about a week later, when I burst out crying on the bus, People looked at me like I was a bit mad, Id look even madder explaining the reasons why I was crying. Its like she was there to physically close that one chapter of my life, and guiding me to move on with my life, and not to be so fixated on my sexuality, just live it now. and now I am happy, and yes I aim to meet her again, but obviously I will pay VIP to meet her, and give someone else the same opportunity as me also. Thank you all for reading, Thank you to who ever was there when I needed them, Including Little Monsters, and thank you to my friends and family, and of course, Thank you Lady Gaga, for being my queen, and for fighting for us every single day, you deserve your spot, and for as long as you live, ill always be there for you. If you are at any stage in your life which may be similar to mine feel free to contact me please, listen to me, I promise you, life gets so much better, I promise, you need someone to speak to, I may take a few days to reply, but get in contact with me, jclay95@hotmail.co.uk or on twitter @Jclay95 You are not alone Sincerely Jason