(1) @gaga wearing a washed out wig in the style of Ziggy Stardust, a character David Bowie created and portrayed in the early 1970s (Starlight also had a similar hairstyle a few years ago) (2) gift art I'd intended to give to Gaga during the German leg of the artRave, but unfortunately never finished on time (3) a picture a friendly stranger and fellow Bowie fan took of me in Berlin during a tour of the Meistersaal in Hansa Studios, where Bowie recorded "Heroes" [read more after the cut!] (4) Mörci, Gaga and me (backstage at the #artravecologne) (5) Gaga leaving her hotel in Berlin after the AMPYA Moment in 2013 (featuring Mörci, our friend Charleen and me) I hadn't intended to tell this story without finishing Gaga's gift art first, something I'd worked on prior to my first artRave and didn't finish on time before Gaga left Berlin (my last artRave), but seeing her wear that wig just now reminded me of my artRave experience and I realised I had to get it out of my system, even though I'm not very motivated to finish the picture at the moment. I've been struggling with low self-esteem and depression for a few years now. About one year ago I just stopped painting, because I would constantly compare my progress to that of more skilful artists and end up incredibly sad. However, for Gaga, I sat down and started again and tried to ignore that voice in my head telling me I wasn't good enough. In 2013, I befriended two fellow German monsters while we were waiting for Gaga to come out of her hotel in Berlin and much to my surprise we managed to stay in touch afterwards. I hadn't been very involved in the Monster community (outside of tumblr) prior to our chance meeting, in fact I didn't have lots of friends to begin with (isolating yourself when you're depressed will do that for you), so I was equal parts happy and nervous to become Charleen's and Mörci's friend. Mörci would visit us a number of times in Berlin and we'd meet up and spend time with each other. After tickets for the artRave went on sale, we made plans to see several artRaves together. I tried to finish my painting in time for the show in Amsterdam, but wasn't too happy with the results. When I came back from Holland I got very sick and wasn't able to work on it as much as I wanted to. Seeing four shows and travelling while sick was very hectic. My third artRave in Cologne is when things got very surreal. Gaga read Mörci's letter on stage and we were able to join the Artpop Zone people for the meet and greet after the show. You can find a video of that here: youtube.com/... I was more than grateful that Mörci valued me enough to pick me and three other monsters to come along with him, but knowing that I hadn't been able to finish the gift art was killing me on the inside. After the Artpop Zone monsters had shared their personal stories with Gaga and had queued up outside for their picture, Mörci asked Gaga for a quick talk. We were able to talk to her then for a few minutes. I wanted to express so many things, but time moved a little bit too quickly for me to wrap my head around everything. I was able to talk to Gaga about our friend Charleen who had not come along with us to Cologne. Gaga listened and faced me again shortly thereafter to tell me she liked my hair. I wanted to tell her then that I'd become a Bowie fan because of her and dyed my hair to reflect his mid-Seventies hairstyle after seeing the Bowie exhibition in Berlin during the summer. However, I only managed to say "It's Bowie" and add how the colour had been washed out just a little bit. Gaga touched my hair and added "Oh, but that's the best. Bowie would like it!" It was just like a dream, but it really happened! I felt bad for not being able to give her my painting, but I was still happy to share this brief moment with Gaga, Mörci and the others. When it was time for pictures I asked her if Mörci could be in my picture as well, so I'd never forget that moment we all shared together. I thought they wouldn't allow it at first, but they took both the picture I'd wanted together with Mörci and a picture with her alone. I don't think I was able to express my gratitude in that moment. I'm very thankful I was able to meet Gaga thanks to Mörci, even if circumstances weren't ideal. I hope I can thank Gaga properly and finally be able to give her the finished artwork sometime in the future. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for creating this community. Thank you so much for reading Mörci's letter, for taking the time to talk to us, for letting in all those fans waiting outside the Berghain, even without winning a ticket (I was lucky enough to be amongst the small group and I wouldn't have met Mörci and Charleen if it hadn't been for that night, you can see a picture of us in the gallery. I'm the one with the sign.) I hope Gaga will continue to make music for as long as she's able to. She's come such a long way; I hope she'll be celebrated and recognised for decades to come as a cultural icon and outstanding performer.