I feel really tired,I am a real gay,but it's too hard to find a suitable boy ,I am already 20 years old. My mom think I should have a girlfriend,but I just don't like girl,I can be friends with them but not lovers,I lied to my mom that I've loved a girl for a long time,actually it's not the truth.OMG,I don't know what the future would be. In my country gay is not allowed to parents. Should I listen to mom or keep being myself? Monsters I need you suggestion.