I'm sorry I need to get this out of my chest. I've been feeling really sad.. My grandma called my mom and said she doesn't want to keep any touch with us anymore. Mom couldn't say anything, my grandma just ended the call. My other grandma and grandpa started to call me, mom and my brother with very mean names. Two weeks ago I had a fight with my grandpa, I couldn't say anything. He blamed me about everything. He said my parents' divorce was my reason. I've never seen him that angry in my whole life.. my mom knows about all of this but she's as tired as me. When will this all end? No one has power to tell them to stop, they don't believe. Tomorrow I have to go to my grandparents' summer cottage with my brother & grandparents. We have to spend one night there. I'm sure it'll be hell cause they'll only blame us and be mean. I would do my everything so I could just stay home. I've cried a lot and thought about all the shit that has happened in my life. I know I'm strong and I can go this all through but I'm just wondering how the fuck I get all this shit in my life? What have I done wrong? I haven't slept very much, I feel tired and I feel like my head will explode on any second :( I don't remember when I was this sad last time. I just wish so bad everything will be ok soon. Last night was the worst, I was so close to do something to myself but because of Gaga I didn't. The only light I see right now is artrave. I'll stay strong cause I want to thank Gaga for being there for me. For being my best friend, for being the shoulder I can cry against to. I can't thank her enough. "Thank you @gaga, I never had no one I could count on. I was tired of hurtin', so tired of searchin' til you walked into my life. You stand by me and you believe in me like nobody ever has. When my world goes crazy, you're right there to save me." #selfie #sad @gaga 😰💗