I heard some bad news today. I want to cry, but I don't have tears to cry. Does that make me strong? I don't know.. I have cried about this before and I honestly have never cried so much in my life. But I actually thought I would feel more sad hearing this news today. Not that I'm okay right now. Even though I'm going through a difficult period, I'm still trying to help other people as much as I can. Sometimes I wish people would put so much effort in me, as I put in them. I have no idea how I actually feel at the moment. I mean I'm thinking about this all the time right now, it's just that my feelings are complicated right now. It feels like I don't know myself, like I don't know how my body is feeling. It's all complicated. I really hope I'll get to the point where I'm gonna be happy again. Been through enough struggles, but every time it gets better, there's another bump that's coming my way. It feels like I don't deserve to be happy and live all in peace. I'm just a little bit lost. I need to find all the puzzle pieces back in the place where they belong... #artpopmessage #desperate #helpmelittlemonsters #help #sad #cry #artpop #iheartartpop #gaga #bornthisway