I'm tired of all, is the same shit everyday, wake up and think "this gonna be a nice day" and is fake, i know that it won't be like that, fake smiles, fakes "im okey", fakes friends. Sometimes i just think in suicide, but im to coward to do that, i feel unloved, i can't feel the love, i just think that anyone loves me, my idol dosent knows that i exist, and I know that she never gonna know about me. I'm not telling that i'm mad with @gaga just accepting my reallity. I allways see nice and confident people, and i ask ¿how they do it? ¿how they wake up and feel pretty and confident? I admire that people 'cause I wish that i was pretty, i wish that i have style, i wish that i was more smart & skinny, but now, im don't feel beautifull, so idon't have nothing left to lose 'cause i allready lose all, i lose hope and self-love, it was supossed that when i go out of rehab this would change, but its worst, i'm bad? i'm wrong? I'M A FREAK? It's bad to feel no loved? to feel self-hate? to feel ugly? Well, it's normal for me, anyone know about this, 'cause all my life is fake smiles and the popular girl, but inside all that cover of confident and bitchy there's a insicure and stupid girl. I just want to share this with you, so thanks if you read this.