As an only child it is hard for me to get in the mind frame of being with other people socially and as friends. My OCD doesn't help me either. As soon as I become friends with some one I tend to back off and not let them in (to get to know my personality and who I am). I put up these walls that keep people from knowing to much about me. I become afraid of judgment and scared of rejection. I know I am a positive person at heart, but sometimes it is so hard to be different and out of your "normal." I have been in solitude my whole life sure I had friends, but they never came over to my house the only time I saw them was as school or some special occasion. Isolation is all I know. When I let people in, it seems that I shut down. I become anxiety ridden and can't breathe so I tend to back off so I can breathe by myself again. I am in the state of loneliness all the time, but I feel okay being alone, it is a safe comfort zone. If that makes sense. I thought I would just share apart of my life with you. #PersonalUpdates #ME #Writing #mylife #isolation #loneliness #friends