jessicathomasx’s post

Dreams?

It's hard to chase a dream sometimes. I have a dream to be an artist. I want to inspire, but I don't always feel able. Years of being told nothing but insults and threats, I don't feel confident anymore. It's very rare that I look at anything I've created and actually enjoy it anymore. Giving up seems easier than keep fighting on, it's mentally exhausting. I'm literally my own worst enemy at the moment, I wish I was stronger. I probably haven't worded this post very well, I just needed to get it off my chest. Growing up is frightening, I mean all my friends have university degrees, everyone around me is successful and then I'm just, there. I know university degrees don't guarantee you a job but I just feel like a disappointment. I didn't get into college, I didn't have the grades for university, I let myself and loads of other people down. They say it didn't bother them but you know when you can just tell someone is disappointed in you? I love my family, in reality and on here, everyone is always so supportive, I just wish I could give them something to be proud of. I don't know, it probably sounds pathetic, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but yeah, I'm not feeling all that strong. It's scary being trapped in your own mind by your own flaws and fears. A huge thank you to @gaga who saved my life all those years ago, I won't go into it too much, I'm hoping to thank her properly in person one day, but I will say that without Gaga, I honestly don't know where I'd be now. I love you Gaga. X #GoddessOfLove #selfie

Monster K@kkanuga 11y

i've felt like that for years. still feel that way. even though i was probably one of the nicest and most down to earth kids in school i was always bullied for my weight or just because i was different. i lost all the confidence i had in myself. i've worked hard on myself but everytime i look at myself i'm just not satisfied. all the people i used to hang out w are where they wanted to be in life and successful. and i'm stuck in my own thoughts and insecurities after having a double masters and a diploma in personal training. i've let my family down big time. i'm just not good enough and not strong enough to chase after what i want. even after all these years i still feel like that loser kid in high school who had to live through hell just for being myself.

Laura Z.@lauzie1 11y

I am crying now. Know exactly what you mean and feel. We are Sisters in mind I guess Paws up (") (")

Willian Benjamim@willanbenjamim 11y

do not give up you are beautiful . . I Love You . I believe in you ♥

Jessica Cull-Thomas@jessicathomasx 11y

@gaga

†CLGaga†@clgaga 11y

You are beautifull!

Never give up! :)

Giorgy Catalina Walteros Franco@kata3001 11y

Oh well honey, sometimes we feel like that, we are humans it's something normal to want be more that who we are, so for me it's something good if you want to go to the university, try it dont give up, your friends could but you can do it too, there's nothing wrong with give our families something to feel proud, and I know that they feel proud now, so you know deeply in your heart you're an incredible person full of talent, someone who can inspire others, I believe in you, we believe in you @gaga believes you, and we will be here for support you always. Never forget. ♥

Nick Walker@nww93 11y

You inspire me <3

Moisey@kseniamoisey 11y

I have a dream too and sometimes for me it's hard to follow my dream and be strong enough. But I try don't lose my faith. So monster, know that I believe in you and in your dream! xx

Myrka@myrkaaroche123 11y

Your eyes👌❤️😍🙌

Paula Mrs Wembley@paula42 11y

Hi. When I was a teenager, I went through a really tough time. What ever dreams I had were replaced with just surviving the crap around me. Believing that it was all my fault ! Life didn't turn out how I thought it would. But life threw me some very unexpected opportunities too, as I went through my twenties and thirties, I settled into myself, I got to travel a lot, I learned how to deal with my depression and my insecurities. I'm 42 now, and while life has never been a bed if roses, it has been interesting. Don't miss out on your interesting moments, don't give up on your creativity. And certainly don't give up on yourself. Who knows what's around the corner for any of us, but we have to be open to those wonderful moments. Dare to dream and give it time to unfold...💜

HeffyD@heffyd 11y

Darlin, I'm the same age as Gaga. I'm still working things out. I've still got dreams. Sometimes they change. I know it's cliché but sometimes things happen for a reason. Not getting into Uni doesn't mean the end. It's just life telling you that you were looking down the wrong corridor. Don't hide away. Go and create opportunities. Let yourself be disappointed. It will more than likely happen again, maybe a few times but you've gotta keep trying, searching, pushing forward. If Gaga hadn't done it that way then we wouldn't have our Gaga! And don't worry about what others think. You've gotta do it for YOU and noone else. Shout out to me any time ok? I love the yaps! ;)

Simone Sprangers@simonesprangers 11y

I understand u and know how u feel, not only cuz I have the same passion for art and want to be an artist, but also cuz I know exactly how u feel with friends going to college and getting degrees while u don't. I have the same, kinda. I had to double a year in school twice. One part of my friends graduated last year and are all going to college now, the other part is graduating this year, while I am still stuck in school another year. That makes me feel sad and alone sometimes.

Mary_Monsterr@marymonsters 11y

I can't believe how you can looks at what you created and don't like this, i love all of your draws! Your family should be so proud, because they have a talented and especial daughter :) I know how hard is when you wan't follow your dream and nobody cares about you, i was dreaming to be an artist like you, but i give up since last week :) But you're born to do it! Sometimes you feel bad with yourself, that's ok, nobody can have a perfect life, but remember that there is a sun under these clouds :) We all love you, i'm here for you always you need :)

Kevin@kevindegraaf 11y

Reading this with tears in my eyes. I know exactly how you feel. It's like reading a chapter of my own life. Maybe we can both find comfort in the fact that we're not alone in this. Always remember there's at least one person who believes in you and supports you to the fullest ^^

jrowe@jrowe 11y

Chase your dreams baby girl. You have everything you need inside of you.

Alessia Monster@littlemonsterale14 11y

Follow your dreams!!! Just saying... You are my favourite artist!

drdolce@cherrygirlgaga 11y

I feel like this sometimes too, but then I just tell myself to work hard on my dreams to make them true. :) You should do the same~ <3

Andreia Pires@andypires89gagaa 11y

If you base the achievement of your dreams on others you won't make it ....i achieve mine based on my love and dedication...others will do nothing for you with their disappointment , believe more in yourself,look inside you not inside other's heads :)

Becca@dreamingofgagaa 11y

Your are an inspiration jess ! ❤️ and your art is beautiful & will become something amazing. I belive in you ! Thank you for being you and everything you do. I love you ! You mean alot to me, you inspired me to draw and i love it so far xo 😍 so thank you much.