My name is Nicole and I'm a 27 years old social worker. I'm working in a children's home with teenagers, bad kids. Sometimes I feel like living a double life, cause I'm a bad kid too. At work I have to be a role model. I always knew that something "wrong" with me, couldn't figure out what, but this feeling was in me. Last year I finally found out that I suffer depression. I never knew if I really wanted to get a tattoo, thought it gonna hit me one day and I know, or not. The day Gaga postet the pic from Amsterdam it hit me. I remembered my Grandpa got an anchor on his arm too and that I was born at the sea. I google the meaning of the anchor tattoo, fell in love and started to design my own shit. I waited til I crossed the altlantic ocean before I got the tattoo, this is how seamen did it in the past. The tattoo was supposed to be a memorial for me to do therapie. I had my first session on 11/4/2013 and got the tattoo on 12/4/2013. It's a reminder to myself, showin me every day that I don't wanna cry anymore and that I'm a warrior queen, fighting my own emptiness. That are lyrics and they so true. Today I know that I have to accept the darkness in my life and that I can fight against it. "Marry the night" has a deep meaning for me. On the pic I'm wearing a cap that was givin to little monsters at the Born this way Ball in Amsterdam 2012 to surprise Gaga when she sang Marry the night and it worked out. I was in the Monster Pit <3 Gaga you mean the world to me, words ain't enough to tell you what you were already doin for me and how much I love you. I will always stand by you, in good and bad times, you always got my back. I'm happy when you are happy. I feel strong connected to you. I never me you so far, but it feels like you a closed friend of mine. Maybe you read this. I believe in meeting you on day, give you hugs and kisses and take a pic with you. One of my biggest dreams. Another is to be a part of the Born this way Fundation one day-maybe you need some Social worker??? PS: I used to smoke weed every day and had to give it up because of my therapie-I wanna do it right. It's hard but I decided to marry the night and this is a part of the way. I know I will not stop blowin forever but I'm 14 day clean so far and proud of it! I love you from the bottom of my heart with all I got. You set me free-thank you so much for being who you are!!!! I love you little monsters! #PAWS UP #ARTPOP #monster4life #LadyGaga #MarrytheNight #MaryJaneHolland #Amsterdam #GodessofLOVE s#MotherMonster #Tattoo #littlemonsters