It will be 4 years in July since u was taken away from me. My God brother was murdered almost 4 years ago. Not only was he a brother but my best friend. He understood me like no one else did. We was friends since birth. Our mothers r best friends and it was jus natural for us to b the same. Even though it's been almost 4 years I still hurt from the loss of my God brother everyday. I can't call him up and tell him exciting news or talk to him when I'm upset about something. All I have of him is memories. He was only 19 when he died. He died because he was fighting for custody of his daughter. His baby mom didnt want that and decided to murder him. So that's what she did along with her husband. Even though they're both now in prison this doesn't help how I fuckin feel. It doesn't bring my god brother back. His daughter was his world. When he found out he was a dad he was the happiest man I ever saw. He spoiled and loved his daughter so much. You knew he would give that baby girl the world. I miss him everyday and every second of the day. He is constantly on my mind. When I discovered he passed I jus arrived home from seeing gaga at the monsterball. I went from being so happy to being destroyed. I never left my room for like two weeks. I felt as if half of me died with him. I wanted to pretty much die too. All I had from taking my own life was Gaga and her music. She got me through those super dark times. I was dealing with denying me being gay as well and everything was becoming to much. I didn't sleep well for months I constantly had nightmares of his death. In my dreams I jus watched him b murdered and couldn't help. I felt guilt and still at times to this day about not being there when he was killed. I feel I could of helped him get away. I had to bury him and say goodbye a day b4 my birthday. So around my birthday I have a rlly hard time bc that's what is on my mind. A few months go by I was listening to the fame monster album while helping my god mom. She said to me Tyler (my god brother) loved gaga. My reaction ofc was like 😱 how did I not kno this! Then I was telling my god mom how I want to meet gaga and tell her what happened and ask if she could dedicate a song to him and mayb I can have her call her. My god mom said that would b so amazing! With the support of my god mom I went on the mission of meeting gaga. I have not met her to this day. But that's ok cuz ik when I do that's when it's meant to b. I don't wanna ask for the song dedication anymore I jus want her to kno what happened to Tyler and talk to my god mom. I also want to tell her she saved me from killing myself a couple times. I doubt she will see this but that's ok. I jus need love and support rn guys. I didnt post this for likes either. I am jus rlly upset and hurting bc I miss Tyler so much. He was the most loving and caring person I've ever met. He was a true monster. He was a beautiful person.