What is reality anyway? do people really believe they are living the actual real life? this mundane daily struggle we all die living for, it is not real for me... i never believed in the power of the usual, i never wanted to build a family and die happy fighting to be like all the rest, my goals were always superior in the sense of spiritual, i live for the opposite as if im in reverse, as if im going backwards to before the day i was born and all the rest of humanity is going for a future that most dont even spiritually look for... i seek the beginning before it's start, what are we all made of? we are not just material pieces of flesh, we have a heart that beats through a soul that gives us life, we are more of what we cant see than what we see in our reflections... i felt all my life like a freak for not being satisfied with the same as my family and friends, the same as the people i see in the streets of this world, i was never simply happy with a lover next to me, i never felt whole talking about future love plans, i always looked for more, i want the power of the universe, i want the particles of it to get into my soul and make me feel more than a living being, i want the life after death while im living, i want to prepare my soul to leave this body and i want it while i breathe, i do love material and sexual pleasure as much as anyone else, maybe sexually not so much but i do love the touch , i am a human being, i feel in my flesh as well, im no different physically, but spiritually i dont feel happy with the material pleasures for too long, i need love and emotions, i need what i can't see to make me feel alive, i need to feel awake in this slow death inside, i seek for the colors of those beautiful auras i see, i dont seek for a beautiful body as much as it pleases me to look at, i seek for someone who undresses my soul and not my body, i seek a kiss on my thoughts not on my lips,the touch of someone"s heart , not hands....i want the sexual in the most non sexual way, i want to feel creeped out constantly, i need the extradimensional love and i found it in you Gaga, we do speak the same language and for this reason when i wrote the book for you i felt i was writing to a superior being that was sending me messages through God, i felt you knew all the time what i was doing, more than my own self , some days i didnt even know where my words came from, i felt that you needed me and so it began....maybe in the end i needed and need you more or we mutually need each other, because many may love, but most dont learn to love and when you learn to love something or someone its for eternity x