I don't know what my life is anymore. I don't even know if I'm supposed to be alive or not. Am I fit to be alive still? Or do I not deserve to be alive? I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I don't know what to do. Everything is dark now, and there's nothing for me to be happy about. I'm just sad all the time now. I'm confused as to what my life really is. And if my parents knew that I'm gay, they'd hate me. They wouldn't be proud to call me their son, and I'd be kicked out. Then everyone would really hate me. I know that I'll never be able to be in a relationship because I'm not fit to do so, as someone once said to me. I convinced myself that I could take care of myself and be independent. But no, I was wrong. My grandpa's last words to me were "take care of yourself". But Grandpa, I'm not taking care of myself. I don't know how to take care of myself anymore. What is there to live for? Why am I still alive? I want to wake up from this horrible dream, but this is real life. I'm scared. I don't know where I am. I don't wanna stay alive if this is what life is gonna be like. Now that I've given up on myself, there's no one. I can't take this anymore. There's nowhere else to go but here to littlemonsters.com.