Where do I start? I sit here reading everyone's story and I felt like in some way I can relate to them. I'm by far perfect, but who is? I live in a very small countryside in Kentucky where everyone knows everyone because well that's just how small it is. I had a fairly good childhood I'd like to think but with one flaw. I was born without a hip socket and at four I had to have surgery (at first doctors said I'd never walk) so the doctor could make me one. I was in a body cast and let me tell you it wasn't fun. After that I had to have leg braces for awhile. But it didn't stop me. I grew up normal and proved doctors wrong by walking and being me. I was raised mostly with my nephews and niece because by the time I was even one my older two sisters were out of the house and so my niece and nephews are like my brothers and sister. Me and my nephews would mostly hang out and play and do mostly guy stuff. So you can say that I was already like one of the guys so to speak. And my father would (even though he may deny it now) always be doing guy stuff with me like teaching me how to shoot guns, hunting, fishing, etc etc.. As I got older I began to start thinking about things like girls and how I liked them. But I dared to even breathe a word of it to my Christian parents because to them it's like an abomination or whatever. Still is. I didn't date guys. I did only twice in high school only bc I thought it would make them happy. But I wasn't happy. I lived a lie mostly. I was trying so hard to please them and those around me instead of pleasing my own happiness. I was bullied in school and lost a few friends when I tried confiding in them about who I really was. Gay. I was spit on and called everything but my own name. Only two friends stood by me. But I still stood proud and took it in stride as best I could. But I still was confused so I still tried pleasing my parents and at 19 I got pregnant with my daughter. I was rushed into a marriage that didn't last no time with her father. But while with him I began to abuse drugs. OxyContin, Xanax, coke and weed along with alcohol. Parties were my get away from reality. But me and her father didn't last bc he knew I wasn't happy and I told him even before how I felt. So we ended it and still are friends. Six years ago I came out to my mom in an heated argument and she was like *I don't care if you love horses!* which sounds funny now but at the time it was a jab to my stomach. And sick. I came out the same way to my father bc he heard it from my mother so things got heated. To the point that my father tried to *pray* the gay away and was talking about exorcism and I had demons in me. And even now he will sometimes bring it up of how I'm *not* gay. My mom just doesn't speak about it at all now. Like if she doesn't say anything then maybe it will go away. But it doesn't. It never will. I will always be a proud lesbian. And the only way I feel free is when I can write my spoken word poetry and listen to Gaga. I've tried in the past to overdose on pills and starve myself by not eating. But I got so good at hiding behind a fake smile that people think I have a good thing going sometimes. But I don't. I still get bullied sometimes online and by my own parents who should just accept and love me for me. And it still hurts to the point I sit and cry. I have already lost my older sister back in November 2011 bc of a rare heart disease and my other sister has the same thing (I don't though). And I still try to stay strong bc I know that's what Gaga would do. So I'm living proof that no matter what, things do get better. I am now a published writer/author and I am proud of who I became in my life. Sorry this is long but I just hope my story makes a difference even if its just one person.