I need to get away from here for awhile. I want to apologize for whatever I have done. Please all of you that have been hating on me...I am truthfully asking what am I doing that is bothering you so much? I am not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes and will make more. I'm a human being. I come on this site everyday trying to spread kindness, compassion, love, acceptance. You know the things that Gaga has worked so hard to try and teach us. When I really started to listen to her and become a fan was in the depths of a heroin addiction that was brought on after years of sexual and physical abuse starting at 5 years old. I loved her music yes,of course, but what really got me was the message she is sending in her music, especially with Born This Way. I have the unicorn on my leg not because i wanted the same tat as Gagz but also because what is says and what it means. I hated myself and that is why I allowed a needle in my vein in the first place. I didn't care if I died. In fact I was secretly hoping for an overdose. I didn't want to live anymore I only wanted to be numb. Gaga changed this in me. She gave me the courage to love who I am for who I am. She is still helping me everyday of my life. I still struggle with self hatred it is something I will fight forever as well as self-harm and severe PTSD. I gave up on this site about a year ago. I couldn't take the mean words I'd receive in response to my opinion or the fact that at times I felt more invisible here than in my life. But then I met a very special Monster that reminded me why I was here in the first place. I am here because I love Gaga and I love the compassion that she spreads. I love the art, the music, and the Monsters. I couldn't leave, he was right, I owed Gaga too much and I want to help and what better place to start than right here. I have been on here almost everyday since, trying so hard to be kind and spread compassion but it seems the more I try the more I'm pissing people off. I'm not trying to preach. I do not think I am better than anyone else. I have been judgmental before. I have even bullied before. But that was a long time ago and I have changed and continue to try to change. No one is perfect we all make mistakes. We all stumble sometimes. I in no way have ever meant to upset anyone. I am only trying to spread the love, kindness, and compassion that entered my world and saved my life in the form of Lady Gaga. I was shooting drugs into my neck, my arms, my legs, my fucking feet! I had been beaten so bad in 09' I have life long brain injury that causes severe anxiety, headaches, and memory loss but I'm still here, still alive and am going to fight for my happiness. Gaga gave me this so I must support her in any and every way. Please, Monsters, tell me what it is I am doing that is upsetting you so? I have a hater lurking, maybe more than one, and I just want to know what I did so I can fix it. I am truly sorry for anything I have done or do to upset anyone and make me look like Im a hateful person. If you knew me you'd know I'm not. I am here to be a friend not an enemy. <3 GSL