It's the one year anniversary of the first time I got backstage with gaga :') I remember this month like it was yesterday. My friends and I travelled to Brisbane for the BTWBall and when it came to Sydney, we camped out for 3 nights before the ball and got the key together. The week was filled with tears, screaming, laughter, joy, stress, cold, friendship & everything else you can imagine. Before the Born This Way Ball, I suffered with anorexia & depression for a long time, to the point that I'd see nothing left for me in this world. I attempted suicide around a month or two before the ball, and then took the Ball as my last chance. I remember every second I was backstage so vividly, I can almost remember every breathe I took that night. I got to experience this whole journey with my best friend who I met in front of gaga's hotel in 2011 :') Gaga walked out to my and my friends and she jokingly said "I feel like I'm gonna puke" and my friend was like "Ew don't vomit on me" and I was like "YOU CAN VOMIT ON ME" and she laughed it was gr8 :') After she was done talking to the key holder, it was my turn to meet her. I walked up to her and I could FEEL myself just surrender my entire body to her. Gaga, being the amazing human she is, made me realize that she isn't superior to me. (Ofc I think she is) but she treated me like a friend rather than follower... She made me feel human. First thing she said: "Oh my God you're so skinny!!!!!" and she rubbed my stomach to keep me warm :') She asked if I was ready to take my photo and I said "Wait... I need to talk to you" She looked at me confused and said "Yeah... what is it? " I got super shy and almost couldn't get a word out and I was like "In private......." And so she was like okay with a puzzled look on her face and moved me to the corner I had everything I wanted to tell her planned out, but I was so starstruck at that point that I could barely breathe let alone speak. I managed to say "I'm scared I'm going to kill myself" Her face dropped and she grabbed my hand and then hugged me so tightly and she spoke to me for such a long time while she held me as I cried on her shoulder and left a wet-patch on her robe HAHAHA She told me about her life... she told me about struggles... she told me that the clouds will ALWAYS part no matter how bad the day or the week or the month may seem. She spoke for a while, telling me she loved me multiple times and I can't remember everything word for word but she then said that she wanted me to make it through. She said that she never EVER wanted to find out that anything bad happened to me, and she said that if I ever feel self destructive to think about this moment. To remember that I MADE IT backstage at the Born This Way ball. That it's -actually- Lady Gaga speaking to me right now, telling me these words, she told me to be strong. She told me to fight. That night changed my life. I walked out of the arena saying "...Wow... I want a cheeseburger" :') And so I ate my first proper meal and indulged on a bag of Maltesers that night and fell asleep with so much hope in my aching body, so much happiness and so much liberation. It's been a year since my recovery. I've gained about 20 kilograms, and I no longer fear food. I no longer have to stare down toilet bowls after every meal feeling my organs deteriorate while I made myself throw up. Recovery was hard. It was one of the most painful things I had ever endured. But I'm happy I'm better. I feel alive. I appreciate my life and everything that has happened to me, and I hope to inspire others. I can't thank you enough Gaga. I love you.