Reality hit me really hard today and I'm feeling broken and scared, was an idiot a couple years ago and got a credit card, I devolved a shopping addiction and today got called saying I have a couple of weeks to pay the full amount or I have to go to court, most likely declare bankruptcy and be homeless, I feel like I have nothing left to fight or live for:( I know it's my own stupid fault and don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me, there is no way I can afford to pay it, so I'm getting drunk tonight and getting ready to live out on the streets, just another worthless person with no hope! Everything sucks :( I hate money and reality.... Want to be delirious and live in fantasy! I have a job I love but don't get many hours, have applied for others but been rejected.... All my family don't want to help and i feel like a fucking loser, sorry just didn't to let this all out, having a bad day:( needing some support..... I hate myself for this!