dariuseivali’s post

Feeling really depressed

I'm just venting. I don't expect anyone to read this and nobody has to... I've just come off of an emotional rollarcoaster. This has happened before but it was still intense. Once roughly every few months I have a few days where I'm really down and then I breakdown and just cry for hours. I think about everything and anything wrong in my life and at that moment feel such intense sadness. I don't know why this even happens. Lately I've been stressed but its nothing out of the ordinary. I think that my anxiety, food addiction, image, money, lack of friends, often family issues and schoolwork all creep up on me. I'm quite a masculine guy and I just breakdown. What triggered it today was my singing practice, I just felt untalented and useless. There's a lot more layers to it, it just feels a lot better to get it off my chest. A few years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression but it comes and goes. I'm a little too embarrassed to talk about this with my family and I don't have any good friends at this particular moment that I can just express emotion to without feeling judged competed against. I felt safe venting here, cos you guys are quite supportive. I'm usually a funny, extremely creative and happy guy but this creeps up on me. Thanks if you read this, though it was mostly therapeutic to me. It would be cool if anyone could relate to me and share their own experiences too. I put on a brave face but I have a lot of issues that I need to deal with. Thanks x

AleJandro .@starbuck 13y

If you need something, we are with you ..

Marie@marieattn 13y

We've all been through this at one point or another, but the trick is to surround yourself with things or people you love and that make you happy. Usually, when I get sad music seems to help a lot. Try to find an outlet to let out your frustration and sadness, trust me it helps a LOT! Stay strongxx

Sarah Callahan@originality15 13y

I get like this a lot especially when my family gets into fights last year was the worst I woke up everyday to the sound of screaming, shouting, and yelling echoing through the house. I could never actually commit suicide I love my family and few friends to much. Keep your head up Little Monster :)

Leah Noel@leahnnielsen 13y

We all have issues, we differ on how we handle them. You are in control of your subjectivity. Although society creates a sense of isolation, the real truth is we are all very much connected. Art and philosophy helps me with my anxiety. You are not alone. Create, share, & love. xo

Em Jay Christian@brunettebombshelbby 13y

Something I have done to control these feelings is to allow myself one 2 "sad days" a month. Those are two days where I am allowed to be sad for no reason, I dont have to change out of my pajamas if I dont want to, I can eat nothing but cookie dough and frosting, and be a complete mess if I wont to. The only thing is, once I use up those days, theyre gone and I have to say to myself "Is this freak out truly necessary? I have already used up my sad days this month so maybe I should just channel this wasted energy into something more productive." I do allow myself more sad days for things that are relevent, if a family member passes away or my friends are hurt or sick...but I had to put a cap on all my random sadness and depression. Find the source of the sadness and let it go....that always works for me...and if all else fails...cookie dough. ~All love, Em Jay

Alessandro Ettore@mralex12 13y

I definitely understand where you are coming from. A couple years ago I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and just recently, Chronic Depression (Dysthymia). It definitely can seem embarassing and hard to talk and open up with others without feeling judged, but we are here :) I am always open to talk and help you and anyone else through hard times. It is also a great coping mechanism for me as well!

† Vania †@bitemygaga 13y

I am the same way!! I know how your feeling and I know it gets overwhelming! I just try to think positive and have at least one friend around to help me get through these emotions cause it will not help if u are alone most of the time trying to deal with it all. I try to think positive and just be thankful for what I've got! Sometimes these feelings just hit ya out of nowhere. My parents don't help the situation and thats what overwhelms me cause I can deal with the emotions without the extra nonsense that my european parents bring to me! its frustrating cause I do the typical things such as work and stay out of trouble I basically just go with the flow and thats not enough! I try to channel my anxiety and try not to let it take over me. I say go out and enjoy yourself! Most importantly be yourself and be proud! people will respect u if u stand your ground but have fun at the same time! My way of dealing with it all is obviously play Gaga's songs she definitely helps! I also play sports and meet so many different people! I say whatever occupies u and makes u feel happy will definitely help u get through these emotions and rough times! Stay positive and stay strong! :) its mind over matter! If u think positive and feel confident u will do things that will surprise you! You have it in you its just u need that something extra to bring out the best in you! :) <3

Laura van Melle@lavanmel 13y

Yeah, I relate to you, alright. I've found that talking about these problems with accepting people like us makes it easier to cope. I know for myself that it's hard to think of anything happy when you're in this mood, but there are ways to cope. Talking about it is one of them, so thanks for posting this. You can get through this.

David Reis@david4404 13y

As I read this, I just felt as I would standin front of a mirror... :/

,.//?;';'[;/</.,"::l@tarapalmere 13y

I will share my dark stories with you King Darius.I was once a drug addict,once a whore,once a prostitute.But not today.Today I am o.k.I can help you bare your load.Believe me I have seen and done alot.Both good and bad.

Matt Germanotta@matbrigaga 13y

I also had depression and sometimes I feel exactly the same way. When you feel down just find something you usually enjoy doing and although at that time you don't feel like doing anything, challenge yourself and do it. It's difficult, but surely not impossible. You're so brave for posting this! Paws Up Monster, you're not alone (''')

Yerai †@yerai 13y

Just think the life has more good things than bad. If you´re talented make the most of it. We all have wrong times but if you convince yourself that you mean so much you´ll be better. xx

biggest Lady Gaga Fan@elschi123 13y

I have the same probleme ,When the days short and the winter comming i have depressiv and sad moments i havent friends iam alone

Blue Mons†er@notsobluegaga 13y

It takes a lot of guts to open yourself to others, mostly when you feel sad. I have a supportive family, but it's still impossible to me to open up to them, and share what's going on in my life. You just need to cry all your tears out and think about all the good things that can make the pain dissapear: music, poetry, friends. I know it's not easy to find a friend how can understand you when you are in this kind of situation, but right here, you have a lot of monsters that are willing to hear you and make you feel better. You're strong, and fierce, and I bet that brave face it's real, it's just sometimes hard to put it on. lots of love, strenght and happiness, I hope this few words helped.

Free Bi†ch@audifan8595 13y

You're really brave for posting this<3 I understand how you feel. Sometimes it really helps me to just write...not even on a public website, but just in my personal journal. Even if nobody reads my words I still feel relieved. Also I like to run when I'm stressed, that can help too...and I listen to happy music...mostly Gaga. I force myself to listen to something upbeat, it helps keep my mind off of what's bugging me. It sounds dumb but it works. Paws up, stay strong, we love you. :)

You

R@justmyself 13y

My best advide for you is that you 'suck it up' (not meant in a harsh way), and start focusing on all the great qualities you have! For example the ones you just mentioned. I believe thats all that takes :-)! best wishes.

Ryan Jordan@ryanjordanonline 13y

All things temporary, this too shall pass. Remember you are always in control. No one is in the drivers seat but you. You are brave and beautiful. <3 www.ryanjordanonline.com

Maddalin Zimmermann@blackroselove 13y

I can relate Depression makes life difficult, but not impossible, that's what I need to remind myself.

Manu@manut 13y

I can totaly relate to you! I was basically the same. When all the sadness and loneliness got too much I just broke down in my room and cried all day long. But when I moved out my real life started! I made incredible friends who are still with me, found love and discovered many other beautiful things! Your life will get better! There is no need of feeling useless or untalented because you are not! Don't let those feelings take control! Try to take all that sadness, anxiety etc and turn it into strength and creativity! You are born to find happiness and to live your life the way you want! This may now be a sad period in your life but you are young and your life hasn't even started yet. Fight for your right to be happy and don't let those negative feelings overwhelm you! You can always message me if you ever need to vent again or need someone to talk! You're a fighter!