Hi. I'm Anciix (my real name is Anna Marie tho). I'm 13 years old. I'm bi, only my closest friends know it. They're okay with it, but they don't really understand how much pain i go through hiding that... It's not easy to like a girl and not being able to tell her because of fear. Well, it's okay now, that i'm not really into anyone, anymore... But that's not all. My life is like, full of bad things and pain, and i know you must be thinking: She's 13, what the hell does she know.. Well, i do. So, i'm going to tell you my story. (My mom told me what was happening when i was a baby, also i found her diary from back then and read it, idk if everything is true, but imma tell you that and things i remember). Well, my mom and dad were together (never married tho) and they had me. My mom wanted to name me Ana Maria (italian), but my dad insisted on naming me Anna Marie. And everything was great for like, a year. Then my mom and dad had alot of fights and my dad took me away from my mom. Then something happened, idk, i had to live with my mom then. She had a new boyfriend. I lived with them. I remember i was 5, and i wanted to run away from home, many times. They used to beat me alot, as i remember. Then he cheated on her and she went CRAZY. She smoked ALOT (like alot alot) Ew. And she was drinking... Well, then she got a new boyfriend again. In some other city, we had to move, i had to change schools and leave all my best friends (in like, 3rd grade) and that boyfriend was alright, atleast better than the last one, but they still both drank alcohol and smoked.. And my mom really was a fuckup.. She forgot to pick me up from school, i was there waiting for her with my teacher till 6Pm... (i was supposed to be home at like 3Pm) and she had this friend somewhere in the city, and she used to go there at night and one time she took me with her and some guy on the street just beat her up, idk what really happened, but i remember crying and watching as she was getting beaten.. she left me on the street. In the middle of the night. I was 8 or 9 years old. And then again, i don't remember anything... then i lived in my grandparents house (i am now living here)... With my dad, i also went back to the old school. My mom got a new boyfriend again, but he was like 27, and that didn't work out. But he was awesome, and my mom aswell that time. My mom is actually a really good person, but she made some big mistakes. And then they broke up, she came live with us (my grandparents, my dad and my uncle), she lived in my room. She smoked marijuana tho... It smelled like shit-.- I hated that and if would never smoke or drink or do drugs or any shit like that, that's disgusting. I don't wanna be like my mom, i wanna be like my aunt(mom's sister), she's the only person that i believe cares about me, but i see her like, twice a month. And yeah... My dad is never home... my grandparent just give me food and drive me to school, they don't really understand what's going on with me, they don't really care. Well, i haven't seen my mom in a year, she came to visit me... OH and that one time, i was in school (already back in my school that i'm going to right now), she came to my school to "pick me up" She didn't even have permission tho.. well, she came.. i was in class and my friend came to me and told me this: hey, Anna, your mom just came and she's shaved. Everyone kept asking me why my mom is shaved. I didn't know... They still remind me sometimes in school, and i don't say anything, i just try not to cry. Noone really likes me from school, except my friends... who think i'm weird and bipolar... Well, anyway, noone really likes me and everyone's been really harsh on me, i cry every night.. I feel like the biggest loser in the world... And i can't take it anymore. So, i'm just telling you that i love you and good bye, my brothers and sisters <3 -Anciix