So, I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm thinking about not being a little monster anymore. There's many reasons for this, such as.. I live way out here in Minnesota. Where does Gaga spend almost all her time? Overseas, in New York, and Los Angelos or Chicago. I haven't met her once and I've been a true fan since Just Dance came out. Another reason is, I'm 15. I don't have the opportunities and tools i need to meet her. Another thing is I'm one of the unpopular monsters. If you look at my twitter profile (@TruthTeaMonster) i only have a little less that 300 followers. When other people have like 10,000 followers. and when I do follow those popular monsters, they don't even follow me back! I've never been retweeted, DMed, followed by or anything like that by Gaga. I'm only 15 so I can't really get a job since I can't drive. I've applied for a job before but I haven't heard anything back yet, so I have no way of making money to buy any expensive outfits that will get me noticed by her, I can't by front row seats for her shows, and I can't buy plane tickets to wear shes at to just touch her hand or something. And just meeting her has been one of my only dreams for as long as I can remember. I feel so lost right now because there's really nothing special about me compared to anyone else besides the fact that I am a little monster. That's the one thing that's really unique about me, and I'm afraid to lose that one unique thing. I think I might attend the Born This Way Ball, and then stop being a little monster, take down my whole wall of pictures i have of Gaga, throw my Gaga shirts away, and get on with my life. Being a little monster won't get me anywhere in life. It's not like I have anything special about me that will get me some where anyways. This is so depressing writing this, I had to stop numerous times because I couldn't see through the tears in my eyes. And this isn't because of the fighting on twitter, it's just I can't take this anymore:'(