I lost everything I feel bad because maybe I didn't even realize about it before and now everything is hitting into my mind. I have to say (don't get worried -just in case-) If I could just shoot myself or die in anyway, I would've already done that. But all I think of is my dad and people that know me they'll be like I don't know..they might miss me but I just want to dissapears for ever. I want to fade away, I don't know like leave this place for ever and just restart my life or something I don't know I feel like I don't fit in somewhere... I hate hate myself hate everything I don't know why but I do I dont self-harm because instead of making me feel better it would totally be the opposite to me, would be good to feel the pain because I think I may deserve it but I don't want stupid scars and if then when I get older - if I don't give up- I don't to remember that a maybe having a freaking scar for ever...I tihnk that's it I don't think many monsters would see this but...